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Real Love

Real love. Self love. True love.

There is no shortage of phrases about love. And the meaning of love, tied to deeply different meanings per culture. You’ll find no one dashing to the street proclaiming, DAMMIT! WHERE IS ANOTHER BOOK ABOUT LOVE?! No, we have plenty, and we are sure to have only more. Since you’ve got an important book reading list to tend to, let’s keep this one short.

In the culture of Internet, that vast differences seem to have neatly come together as a web, curated to a specific meaning, as a means of creating coherence out of difference.

Love, on its own is deeply complex, beautiful, enriching, maddening, fruitful experience, learning, all kinds of experiences are born out of love, or are claimed by the name of love.

But Self Love, the newly branded love of the internet has a perky ring to it but an insidious interior side to it’s lining.

Let’s look a coat as a metaphor. You build a lavish garment of quality materials, delightful with just the right amount adornment so as not to appear to garish and not to have tried too little, perfected the seams, and used only the best quality materials. Then you turn the damn thing inside out, and the interior other side gets an all-weather, cloak in whatever fabric you had laying around. And that’s your exterior. That’s the gift you bestow to the world. The rugged, I can handle it, all-weather, utility cover. All the love, went-inside.

Self-love sounds good in theory for the wounded, the people who actually have feelings and empathy for the suffering in the world. And it’s a way to pep-talk ourselves into feeling better instead of experiencing other kind of feelings that can be informative. Informative to your life. To use another metaphor, your feelings as a subway map. Pretending all the coloured routes will get you to where you are going, you say, oh, all the feelings are just the same, and end up going east when you really needed to go west. Your feelings, as a compass get the one-colour-fits-all treatment. It’s a subtle trick and a trap you end up walking yourself into. Help! I’m stuck in the closet of sameness, and I can’t get out!

You can though, there’s a door, that opens from the inside to the out, and offers a messier look at love that doesn’t involve getting all mirror-obsessed. Isn’t that what the self really is? After all, how do you know you exist without looking at yourself. You do! You have all these senses that tell you about what’s going on at the world.

Bringing us back to the ship of self-love. Boats, last time we checked, don’t just sail themselves. Even those nifty “smart” tech drivers, still require maintenance.

Then you’ve got a tree, for another example. One, hell, even 10 examples maybe isn’t a enough to finally get to the point, and it’s not karma kids…

Love goes around.

It seems well meaning, and for posterity, let’s assume self-love hashtaggery is well meaning. While grammar isn’t as important on the Internet anymore, words are. Since we are parsing them down into #hashtags for bots to learn from, to build a population of artificially intelligent life forms. AHCK! The words are important.

Let’s take a look at this word then: acceptance.

Self love-at its heart means to accept

darling and sirs are human

humans are not perfect

robots and others are not perfect either

there’s no getting out of this mess pretending you’re an all weather jacket

self love, at least at one time, was considered a form of psychological illness (hello narcissus in the pond!)

love goes around

There now, that you know love is coming to you, now, now! and the next breath and bite of food or smile on the street, does it up the odds of Acceptance? And if there isn’t something you have to be doing about yourself, or your well of love (hello! Anyone down in there), you are freed up to give love, freely! Really! Yes freed and freely in one poorly written phrase. Because hey, it’s the Internet. And what really counts here, is the deeper stuff, that part of your psyche that feels like home-you know, your soul and the part of you that IS your life and all you decide to make with it.

Love, is a feeling, in your body, not an idealistic image to snap, acquire, attain. The world is full of movies, articles, and other media full of ideas and stories of exponential and unending bliss. While these fancies may tickle the pleasure centers of your brain, ultimately you cannot change who or what you are. You can change how and what you think, which directly impacts the quality of the life you create. Do yourself and your life a favor and dig into the real love that flows from you, to you, in all kinds of ways that may not always feel delightful, but in the end keep your heart beating and feeding your soul.

Energy, as a force emanates in all kinds of ways, circuitry and directions, but energy flowing outwards, makes actions happen. Instead of circulating around ourselves, maybe we can explore the simple act of outward focus as a generative tool.

Because hey, those sloping birthrate articles around the internet lately show a generation on the decline. So let’s get to loving. Responsibly. But responsibility will be for another time.

For today, love. It’s enough.

#love #yotostudio #createbalance

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